Since many readers have been kind enough to ask about my dental dilemma in the last few weeks, thought i would take a moment to update everyone.

It has now been four weeks since I spent more than fours in the dentist’s chair while my teeth met their Waterloo.  And right up front I will say that in a lifetime of making mistakes, this decision may be at the top of the list.  Time and patience may prove this to be a good decision, and i certainly hope they do, but right now I wish I had my teeth back, as bad as they supposedly were.  Yes, due to losing one of my front upper teeth I was not very “purty,” but I could eat something beside soup and mush, which is now the case.

Yogurt, fortified drinks, apple sauce, ice cream, fruit bars, endless soups and scrambled eggs pale in comparison to the preferred diet of a certified country boy who grew up on cornbread, turnip greens, fresh tomatoes and fried chicken.

Thankfully, the soreness is about gone from my gums, with the exceptions of some “hot spots.”  I am trying to get used to the temporary dentures.  I can handle the bottom ones for a couple hours, the tops are a different story.

One day I got the bright idea that I would just go get take out from my favorite meat and three restaurant here in Montgomery, bring it home and run it all through the blender.  Have you ever tried to blend turnips?  If you haven’t, don’t.

Last week my insurance company had 14 pureed meals me.  Things like meat loaf, vegetables, BBQ, turkey and dressings.  OMG.  For some reason, BBQ with the consistency of apple sauce leaves a lot to be desired.  Just the thought of them stacked up right now in my refrigerator sends a shiver down my spine.

And when I think about it, aren’t our teeth in essence our very own blender without the noise?  We chew up the chicken leg, then swallow it.   But for some reason, it ain’t the same.  Yesterday my doctor said that lots of these kind of meals are delivered to the local nursing home.

If that ever happens to me, you have my permission to shoot me while lying in my nursing home bed.

I know lots and lots of good, decent people have gotten used to false teeth.  (In fact, I have just learned that one of my favorite uncles had false teeth and I didn’t know it.)  But apparently these are the same kind of folks who had a baby and went back to picking cotton that afternoon.

That has never been me.

Again, thanks for asking.  And continue to say a small prayer that fried chicken is somewhere in my future.